Can you cure imposter syndrome on your small business journey?
I’ve been thinking about imposter syndrome lately - how it creeps in so quietly and maliciously, making you question everything: your abilities, your worth, your place. And equally, how it can so quickly become a shroud to hide behind, a mask that holds you back from being able to show up for yourself.
In my experience, it’s so often at the core of stagnation, stalling and inconsistency, and while it might feel like external motivation is the only way to make progress when you can’t believe in yourself, I’m starting to think that discipline might actually be the antidote.
We’ve all been there. An insidious thought; a shaky little seed is planted in your grand plans; sending you further and further off track.
Maybe someone has told you your idea won’t work. Or you had a bad review. Maybe you’ve hit a roadblock in your business, or you’ve had a slow month.
If you have limited reserves of self-belief to call upon, it’s real easy to start doubting yourself.
You stumble, and slow down. You second guess your decisions. Maybe you stop all together.
Before long, the furnace that was keeping you chugging along has been all but extinguished, and it’s about here we start to give it a name: Imposter Syndrome.
I don’t believe in myself anymore. I feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t know if I’m capable. I’m not smart enough, talented or skilled enough to do this.
Sadly, it’s enough to kill a dream, and I think it’s killed a few of mine.
I think you could say I’ve had chronically low self-esteem and self-belief since coming back to work after having kids. I remember this younger version of me that was wildly confident and self-assured, getting myself into positions I had no business being in; skating through on audacity alone.
But then there was 32 year old, mum of two, recently separated, hasn’t worked for years me. The ambition was still simmering in there somewhere, but the confidence was shot.
And thing was, I needed a side hustle; bad. I could barely support my household on my meagre wages, but it was almost like my new position in the world was just providing further evidence that I was worthless.
Every now and then I’d get a burst of energy or excitement or inspiration, fuelled by a very real need to keep the lights on, only to fizzle out in a stop-start cycle that made my own head spin. Like I said; I felt worthless. What business did I have starting a business?
I was…dun dun dun…an imposter of the highest rank.
You know one thing I’ve learnt working with women of all ages, in all stages of business, no matter how successful they are? It is so bloody natural to doubt yourself sometimes. Even the most confident women question their ability every now and then. IT IS NORMAL.
But it’s NOT OK to let it derail your dreams.
So, let me tell you how I cured my Imposter Syndrome.
(Spoiler alert: it wasn’t in business; not yet…)
I was newly separated, equal parts angry and depressed, so I thought it was good idea to get some exercise in.
I hadn’t exercised ever really, and after spending several years raising kids and putting myself last, I was slow, weak, clumsy and exhausted.
I felt silly even being in a gym; embarrassed to see a trainer, embarrassed to even attempt exercises because of how uncoordinated and weak I was.
And it was in that moment in time that I first understood, in a tangible way, the difference between motivation and discipline.
At first, my only motivation was rage, and that came and went. It would get me into the gym for the release alone, no matter how goofy I looked in there. But it wasn’t enough to keep me going. It wasn’t enough to defeat the little voice in my head telling me that I didn’t belong there, I wasn’t built for it, or that I should cut my losses before I hurt myself.
See, I needed something stronger.
When I started to see a little clearer (the rage haze lifted somewhat), I realised what was really important.
My health. My sanity. My kids seeing their mum try to be better. My kids being able to count on me. Being able to run and play with my kids. Being healthy and well in every sense for my kids. I didn’t need external factors to motivate me to go to the gym, because I had a purpose far greater than my excuses, or doubts.
I had a why so strong that I learnt what it means to go after something blindly, without negotiation, without question.
I learnt what discipline felt like.
And the thing about discipline is this: you show up and do the thing, no matter what. Discipline doesn’t care what’s going on in your life, or how you're feeling. You just show up. Discipline is blind, discipline is unemotional, discipline is consistency.
That’s not how motivation works. Motivation waits. Until things are perfect. Until you’re excited. Until you feel energised. Until you have a reason.
Then do the hard thing.
But if you rely on motivation, you’ll rarely get where you want to go. Motivation is fleeting. It's unreliable. It's up one day, gone the next. And that’s not how you build anything sustainable.
And from my POV, when it comes to imposter syndrome, the most destructive symptom is inconsistency. It keeps you stuck. You start something, second-guess yourself, stop... and spiral.
Imposter syndrome is a term that gets thrown around a lot. But when I really examined it in my life, I realized what I was really experiencing was low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and low self-belief. And underneath that? A lack of direction, which ultimately led to a lack of discipline.
Because without direction, how can you possibly be disciplined?
When you’re not sure what you're working toward, it's easy to float, to flounder. To scroll. To spiral. And yes, it’s hard to get going when you don’t believe in yourself. It takes something external; a compliment, a surge of inspiration, a reminder that people need what you offer, just to get moving.
But those fleeting sparks of motivation? They’re not enough to grow a business. They’re not enough to build something meaningful. They’re not enough to get you where you want to go.
Discipline is where success happens.
I first learned it through fitness, and I’ve learnt it again, hard, in my business.
I realised, that after two years, I wasn’t getting anywhere because I couldn’t stay consistent. So, I stopped waiting to feel motivated. I figured out what I needed to harness discipline instead.
I asked myself why I was doing this. Why I’d started this business. I went right back to the moment I decided to go out on my own, and remembered that it was freedom and the promise of building wealth (beyond what I could earn in a 9-5), to create a better life for me and my kids. That was what drove me to take the leap. My dream; to be financially stable and secure for the kids.
That’s a pretty strong why - and failure was simply not an option.
I set a clear financial goal; a specific target I was working toward.
I had direction. And with direction, came discipline.
Here’s the truth:
You can’t be disciplined without direction
And you can’t find direction without a goal
So if you’re struggling with imposter syndrome right now - if you're questioning whether you’re good enough, smart enough, experienced enough - I’d ask you: Do you have a goal?
Have you learned the meaning of discipline?
Because discipline doesn’t require you to believe in yourself. It simply asks you to show up.
That doesn’t mean that impostor syndrome goes away - hell, I’m grappling with it as I type - but it means that we can take away some of it’s power. Like when you feel the fear and do it anyway. You feel the doubt, and you just keep walking.
And if you do that, day after day - even when it’s hard, even when you don’t feel like it - you’ll get there. Step by step. Bit by bit. You’ll build something you can be proud of.
Because the truth is, you don’t have to be the smartest, the most talented or the most skilled to make it in business - the most successful people are often the most persistent, the most consistent and the most disciplined.
Don’t ask yourself if you’ve got what it takes. Ask yourself if you’ve got the guts to go after it.
I’ve had this blog post in my drafts for a couple of weeks now, while I told myself other work was more important. The truth is, I was stalling, because I’ve been feeling that imposter syndrome creep in.
I’ve watched my bottom line suffer while I let doubt slow me down. Like I said, this isn’t about being immune to it (because life is never that simple), it’s about catching yourself, correcting, and taking those steps back up out of it. It’s about not letting it defeat you. It’s about teaching yourself how to feel it without letting it stop you.
So here I am, showing up, when I don’t feel motivated or inspired, when I don’t believe in myself, and I’m doubting my worth.
And if I can do this - maybe it’s time for you to publish that blog post, launch that service, send out that email and walk right on through that doubt.
Your goal is waiting on the other side.